Everyone receives messages from an old partner from time to time. It might be a random phone call or text or message on social media. Depending on what happened, the natural reaction might be to delete it and ignore the contact. The original relationshipo and its end brings the greatest evidence of how to proceed following the contact. Was it toxic? Did they cheat? Were they immature? Any of these would be a good reason to power through without stopping. However, relationships end for numerous reasons including distance, different goals or not being ready to move to the next level. Listening to them can be an important first step. If they want to reconnect, there might be a reason and it never hurts to hear what they say realizing you are under no commitment to them.
Things Always Change
One of the great things about people is how adaptable they are. When faced with a situation, they possess the potential to change to meet the challenge. An event in someone's life can cause them to reevaluate old relationships. They might realize in the course of a difficult time the relationship they previously held dear is the best place for them. Some events creating a crucible in which deep consideration of the heart to occur can be health scares, loss of a family member or person close to them, crises of conscious or a deep dissatisfaction with their lives. Knowing this explains why they have returned, but hearing the outcome of the trial is where the new person they have become will shine. Meeting the new person, the person impacted by change, will give a glimpse as to the type of relationship to come and how it may vary from the previous.
Look for Evidence
The main source of information is the returning person. While they should be given a chance, the partner allowing them back should take every opportunity to confirm the data they receive. Talking to people in their lives, including those who were around during the first incarnation of the relationship, will give substantiate what they have witnessed. If the person struggled with certain behaviors, key in on those. Are they less prone to angry outbursts? Have they taken an active role in charity or the community? Have they shown a level of consistency with these things? Trusting while verifying with outside sources gives a clearer picture of the person coming back into a partner's life.
Is This What You Want?
This can be the biggest question of all. The person might have changed and be a great person. But those facts do not overshadow the truth they were in your life for a season and then moved away from the relationship. This question is so challenging because of the mix of history and hope. Feeling like this person is known while seeing how they have genuinely changed might cloud one's judgement. It is important to take stock of the situation soberly before permitting them back.
This is the question facing everyone because no one does not have someone they think would be the ideal match if they would have done one thing or the other. Occasionally, they come back and they have changed in that way. Realize their return does not obligate anyone to take them back. That said, slamming every door on every occasion prevents true hope for the future to spring in the heart. Remain open, cautious and hopeful.