torsdag 2 oktober 2014

Is There Any Way To Save My Marriage?

Is There Any Way To Save My Marriage?
by Sarah Lindahl

Marriage is the natural consequence of love. Celebrating with friends and family, we profess vows of faithfulness in sickness and in health, in good times and bad. On that day, fulfilling those vows seems easy. Nothing will prevent us from fulfilling them. Come what may, we will make it through 'til death do us part.' But then the realities of married life take shape, and it is not what you envisioned. You could be asking yourself 'is there a way to save my marriage'?


A marriage can be saved, even completely transformed from a sad, or even depressing, situation to a life long love affair with your spouse. Even in the most difficult situations, such as adultery, marriages can be saved. Trust in hope, and know that you are not alone. Saving your marriage requires that you clearly understand what you should and should not do in the reconciliation process. Your desire to change your marriage for the better led you to this article in the first place.

First, here are the phases the relationship lifecycle. There are six stages:

1. Romance and infatuation

2. After the honeymoon

3. Staking your territories

4. Evaluation

5. Reconnection

6. Commitment

Is There Any Way To Save My Marriage?

You are most likely in the fourth stage and trying to figure out why you decided to marry this other person in the first place. You might be thinking that your life would happier with someone else. Coming to the realization that your dream of a happy marriage is not coming true is very difficult. The love and romance you enjoyed has vanished and the honeymoon stage is a memory. This is absolutely normal, but emotionally challenging. Feelings of closeness, especially sexual intimacy, can decline or disappear completely. At this point, it is common to consider having an affair. If you have this temptation, do not give in. Honor the vows you took and acquire the skills and techniques to reconnect with your partner. This stage is painful and trying. Of course, it also has the greatest reward. To achieve this reward, equip yourself the skills needed to avoid ending up as a marriage statistic.

Problems commonly encountered include: what if my spouse does not want to try to salvage our relationship, how do I get past hurt feelings, can we ever trust each other again? Be careful at this stage. If you are asking for forgiveness, begging for it or making promises about changing may not be received graciously. Try putting yourself in their shoes. On the other hand, are you capable of forgiveness and what conditions would you impose? Trying for the quick fix is the really just a quick path to more of the same. Marriage difficulties do not develop right away, and they cannot be fixed right way. The process takes time. However, acquiring the skills and tools to reconnect, and even transform your marriage, will make the process shorter, and you will know the answer to your question 'what can I do to save my marriage'?

More Information:

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