by Graham Brightwell
Professional couples psychologists can help both of you in several ways:
1. Couples psychologists can help you identify your real needs and what each of you really wants from the marriage or from your spouse.
2. Couples psychologists can help you identify behaviours both in yourself and in your spouse that cause unhappiness or dissatisfaction in the marriage.
3. Couples psychologists can help you learn and practice new behaviours that bring both of you closer to each other.
4. Couples psychologists help you get a clear idea on you and your partner's communication patterns and how those help or hurt the marriage.
Marriage counselling can help both of you specify your goals (individually and as partners) and focus on what both of you truly want, (individually and as a couple). If one of you isn't content and happy simply because your partner isn't being what you need or want in the marriage, you aren't taking responsibility for your own happiness. If your happiness depends on someone else, basically you lose control over your life. The following are some of the things couples psychologists can help you with.
COMMUNICATE MORE EFFECTIVELY
Marriage counselling helps you communicate your needs more effectively and in a less emotional manner. When you're clear about what you really want and what you're willing to do and compromise, you do not have to whine, scream, nag, pout, or be in bitter silence. You would be able to express what you need clearly, as well as ask what you want. Then your spouse can hear you and respond in a clear, direct, and calm way.
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IDENTIFY ANNOYING BEHAVIOURS
Marriage counselling can help you pin point the behaviours that trigger a negative feeling. Looking for long-held beliefs regarding your relationship, roles, family, and yourself could help unravel beliefs and thoughts that are no longer helpful for you. When you're discovered all of those beliefs, they could be changed just, so they are more powerful and effective for your current situation.
EXAMINE YOUR BELIEFS
By studying your own beliefs, you'll find out where they come from, and you could consciously select to change or keep those beliefs. Then you would be able to take the reins of your life and redirect yourself as well as your relationship towards something that works best for both of you. Rekindling the reasons why you're together and appreciating the things your spouse does well are some of the vital aspects couples psychologists focus on. It's way easier to agree to make changes if you feel that the things you're already doing are noticed and appreciated by your partner.
Another benefit couples psychologists can provide is that you'll have an unbiased person listening and observing your communication patterns as well as your needs and wants, and closely watching the manner you come across to your partner. This will help because you'll have an outside view and opinion that may be you had not thought of before. It can take you out of a pattern that probably you have not recognized before.
If you are looking for professional couples psychologists Melbourne, visit Victorian Counselling and Psychological Services by following these links: