tisdag 30 september 2014

Staying Together After an Affair

An affair is not an automatic death sentence for a relationship. While some couples do choose to separate as a result of an affair, many go on to have long, productive and happy relationship. How can you work through the trauma of an affair and still be successful in your relationship?

Dating

Spend some time alone after the affair has been discovered, and the shock has worn off. Getting alone with your thoughts will give you time to analyze your relationship and decide if what you have is worth fighting for. Make no mistake – it will be a fight – and it will be difficult. But it is possible to recover after an affair and come out stronger in the end. 

Some guidelines to help establish a “new reality” for your relationship will help you both feel comfortable with the changes that will be necessary. 

Sit down together and discuss your feelings – don’t try to hide them or act as though you are ok with everything – be honest with your spouse. 

Accountability is a key to rebuilding trust after an affair. Establishing new routines, providing access to phones, email, etc is a way to provide transparency in a relationship that wants to be restored. 

If you are the injured party, establish what would make you feel more comfortable in the situations where the affair was. If it was with a co-worker, how can you feel comfortable with your partner going to work? Discuss the ways that accountability will help you mend trust.

Staying Together After an Affair


Forgiveness: easy to say, hard to offer. Forgiveness does not excuse the pain of the affair, nor does it say that everything is ok. It is about making a conscious decision to forgive your partner for their actions and move past the incident. 

It will take time, and sometimes forgiveness needs to be offered daily as reminders of the affair crop up, but forgiveness isn’t for the sake of the guilty. You need to let go of the anger so that you can truly move beyond it. 

Create new, shared goals. Begin to build a new relationship together. Find new things that you can do as a couple to strengthen your bond and re-establish your united life. 

Commit to the recovery of the relationship – no matter how tough it gets. Remind yourself that what you are working towards is a loving marriage relationship. 

Marriage counselling is a wonderful way to get an outsider’s perspective on the problems that may have contributed to the affair, and to get some strategies that will help you move past the betrayal. 

Find a counsellor through your workplace’s healthcare provider, through your religious organization or mental health department of your city. Attend sessions together and work on the skills they suggest. 

Not every marriage can or should be saved. If, however, you want to work on your marriage it will take both parties to commit to making it work. With both members doing their part to rekindle the spark that brought you together in the first place, you can have a loving and healthy relationship again. 

NEW! Now You Can Stop Your Separation, Divorce or Lovers Rejection…Even If Your Relation Seems Hopeless!

If you Want Him Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…

The Secret you need to know to reverse your separation! From the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back together again!


måndag 29 september 2014

Sex and Fidelity

Let’s face it: casual sex is everywhere. Sitcoms on television glorify the idea of sleeping with the boyfriend/girlfriend of the week, fiction books glamorize affairs and one-night stands, musicians pen ballads about the wonders of relationships based on physical attraction. 

Dating

Sex between consenting adults is perfectly accepted in society, until it happens between your spouse and another consenting adult. Suddenly that barroom pick-up line song takes on a whole new meaning when confronted with the reality that your spouse picked someone else up and took them home for their own episode of casual sex. Sex is (and should be) a sacred part of marriage. 

Imagine if these were the vows during a wedding ceremony:

"I, (insert name), take you (spouse’s name) to be my lawfully wedded wife. I promise to love you, and cherish you, and will be faithful to you until I find someone more attractive. Then, I will probably have sex with them, but will still love you and cherish you. I may find someone else that I want to have sex with but don’t worry. You’re the most important one in my life."

No one would sign up for that kind of deal! 

While study after study shows that a lack of sex is not the only reason a person cheats, it is definitely a factor in an affair. It is with good reason that a proactive approach to warding off an affair includes an active sex life: sex is important (not to mention fun). 

Make sex a priority in your relationship. One woman, whose mom was trying to be helpful before her daughter’s wedding, told her to always have a load of laundry nearby that needs to be done. The implication being that if you can have an excuse to get out of sex, you should take it. 

Sex and Fidelity


That kind of thinking is what helps to set the stage for infidelity later. Regardless of your sex life (or lack thereof) it’s never your fault if your spouse cheats. However, you stack the odds in your favor if the issue of sex is never an issue. 

While we will leave the particulars of your sex life to you, there are a few pieces of advice we will give: 

• More is better. Some couples commit to being intimate every day for a year. Some choose a shorter amount of time as a means to strengthen the marital bond. Talk together with your spouse and see if this is something that would be helpful in your relationship. 

• Variety is nice. Try something new – a new location, a new position, a new outfit. You don’t have to go any shades of gray to have a sex life that is varied and exciting. 

• Talking is good. Communication is a key component in a relationship – and is equally important within your sex life. Talk/text/email about how you’re looking forward to date night, how much your intimacy the night before meant to you, about how you got a new outfit that you can’t wait for him to see in bed tonight. 

Sex is a powerful tool in your relationship – use it as a tool for good. 

NEW! Now You Can Stop Your Separation, Divorce or Lovers Rejection…Even If Your Relation Seems Hopeless!

If you Want Him Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…

The Secret you need to know to reverse your separation! From the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back together again!


söndag 28 september 2014

Guide to a Successful Relationship

If you’ve ever been through a breakup or divorce, you may be a little gun-shy about your next serious relationship. You’re suddenly second guessing yourself and every decision that you make. It can be exhausting and a little (lot) frightening to consider starting over with someone new. 

Dating

What if the same things happen? What if the problems your last relationship had were all your fault and you bring them to the new relationship? What can you do to start your new relationship off on the right foot? Are there any strategies that you can use to help your new, fledgling relationship find its way towards lasting romance?

If you want to help your relationship start (and stay) strong, here are some Dos and Don’ts to get you going.

Do

Make new friends (but keep the old). The Girl Scouts have it right – you need to keep your girls around. Just because you have a new relationship in your life, you don’t have to get rid of your old friendships. Friends add color, stability and flavor to your life. Maintain your relationships with your friends – even after you and your guy are an established couple. 

Guide to a Successful Relationship


Encourage your new guy to keep his friendships as well. Plan some activities that you can do with each other’s friends and begin to make friends that are new to you both as well. Having friendships outside the relationship is a healthy way to make sure you aren’t solely relying on your partner for your emotional needs. 

Stay true to yourself. Changing who you are and the things that make you unique just to please your partner is one of the worst things you can do. Not only will it lead to resentment (yours) and anger (his), you’re changing the person that your man fell in love with. He loved you for who you were - you shouldn’t have to change to keep that love. 

Don’t

Lying to your partner is a surefire way to erode the trust in your relationship. Even lying by omission is harmful and should be avoided. Sometimes you have to say things that you know will hurt the other person, so you want to lie to spare them the pain. Don’t. Just use the ‘rip the bandaid’ off mentality and tell them the whole, ugly truth. The pain may be sharp, but it will fade. The pain of lying has long term consequences. 

Talking about problems with your relationship with someone of the opposite sex is another big no-no. When you use another man’s shoulder to cry on, sometimes you start to develop an attraction for those big, strong shoulders that so easily carry the weight of your burdens. Stay away from this situation by keeping your mouth closed – and only cry on your girlfriend’s shoulders. 

Using another person to make your partner jealous is not only juvenile, it’s dangerous. Manipulating your partner’s emotions may get you the attention you want, but the result may be a breakup. 
There is no guarantee about relationships. You can only do your part to be the best partner possible and choose someone who feels the same way. Your next relationship can be wonderful!

NEW! Now You Can Stop Your Separation, Divorce or Lovers Rejection…Even If Your Relation Seems Hopeless!

If you Want Him Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…

The Secret you need to know to reverse your separation! From the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back together again!


lördag 27 september 2014

Getting Past the Shame

Tabloids love to expose the worst behaviors in people – putting their faults and failures on display for everyone to see (or at least the people in the checkout line at the grocery store). 

The covers of tabloids are always full of the latest infidelity scandal involving some well-known person; be it a politician, a movie star or an athlete. 

Dating

While they show the world the awful things that the celebrity did, they typically ignore the feelings of the betrayed spouse. Not only are they coming to grips with the hurtful behaviors of their spouse, they are faced with the embarrassment and shame of having the entire world as a spectator to their personal pain. 

Most likely, if you are in a relationship where your spouse cheated, it will not be front page news. You don’t have to worry about wondering if the neighbors saw the paper, if the reporters are going to follow you around, if your personal life is about to become fodder for public amusement. 

But the feelings are still the same, and your personal shame will feel very public. You may find yourself walking through a store and wonder if people could tell that you had been betrayed. 

Getting Past the Shame


Can your co-workers see on your face that something horrible has happened? What will other people think about you now? You can lose yourself in the worry about what other people think of you based on the actions that your spouse took.

Don’t fall into that trap. It’s destructive and self-defeating. First of all, no one knows. Chances are good that no one would ever know unless you (or your wayward spouse) choose to tell them. While you may be obviously sad, or upset, without you giving other people the details, they’ll have no idea. 

It is important to come to grips with the reality: your spouse cheated. Give yourself a time limit for being in shock, and then it will be time to start putting things back together. Set a date (2 or 3 days, max) to wear pajamas, eat copious amounts of ice cream and go through a couple boxes of tissues. During those couple of days you can cry, yell, or sit in silence. 

At the end of your shock deadline, put your attention on getting past the shame of what happened. The fault for another’s actions can only lie with that person. Trying to figure out why they did it to you or how they could betray you will only use up time and energy; you will come up with very little in the way of answers. 

Regardless of what reasons and excuses were used to get to the point of cheating, the truth is that your spouse is the one responsible for their actions. Don’t take the shame of the situation on yourself – you are not the one who cheated. 

Once you have confronted your new reality and have worked through the pain of realizing it is not your fault, you can start to make changes and decisions about how to move forward. It is possible to recover and move on. The pain will linger and it will take time, but you can do it. 

NEW! Now You Can Stop Your Separation, Divorce or Lovers Rejection…Even If Your Relation Seems Hopeless!

If you Want Him Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…

The Secret you need to know to reverse your separation! From the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back together again!


fredag 26 september 2014

10 Ways to Embrace Square One

You’re moving along on the relationship game board, fairly well into the game, when all of a sudden you’re thrown back to square one: the relationship is over. Regardless of who is to blame, it’s done. 
The dust has settled, all of the “You left this at my house” items have been returned (or trashed depending on how the breakup went) and you are left sitting alone. 

Dating

Knowing how to move forward in your life and how to navigate the minefield of starting a new relationship isn’t always obvious, especially when you’re mid-breakup. 

If you’re in a wonderful relationship that is going to last forever, keep these tips for your poor friends who will most likely need it at some point. Plus, then you’ll have it in case you ever need it. Not that you will. But, in case.

1. Let it go. Not just the catchy tune from an animated movie, these three little words can save you a world of hurt. Let go of the relationship and free yourself from its clutches. 

If you were the “breakee”, don’t go and beg the “breaker” to take you back. Rarely does this work, and if it did, the resulting second breakup is just worse somehow. Accept the reality and start to heal. 

2. Make peace. It is ok to have a tidal wave of emotions, and you will have them for a while. That’s ok! Give yourself permission to use all of your feelings – just don’t give yourself permission to act on them. Getting angry at the “breaker”? No problem. Smashing all the windows in breaker’s car? Not a good idea. 

3. Do something. Now is a great time to try something new. Always wanted to learn how to line dance? Take a class. Go on a weekend cruise with a couple of friends. Hike through the mountains.

10 Ways to Embrace Square One


4. Career boost. Pour yourself into your work. Offer to take on an extra project, or take a class or certification course that will help you advance in your workplace. Success at work will make you feel better about yourself, and will help your career advance. 

5. Get chatty. It’s not a good idea to discuss every detail of your sordid breakup story with everyone. (Plus, the cashier at the grocery didn’t want that much information when she asked “How are you today?”). 

Call up a trusted friend or schedule a counselling session with a trained professional to talk about your feelings and pain. Airing your emotions will help you recover from the breakup faster. 

6. Stay single. Often, the idea of being alone makes the breakup feel even worse, so women will rush into a new relationship to help ease the pain. Take some time to do a little soul-searching, and to evaluate what you are looking for in a relationship before jumping back into the dating world. 

7. Say no. Drowning your sorrows can seem like a very good idea when the pain of a breakup is still raw. Using drugs or alcohol as a way to forget your breakup or to dull the pain of losing your relationship seems like a good idea at the time. 

The long term consequences aren’t worth the few hours of forgetting. Hangovers, addiction and embarrassing behavior can all be the results of binge drinking. (Bitter, drunken woman doing karaoke is never good. Remember this.)

Square one is never a fun place to be, but eventually you’ll be ready to start the game again – just make sure you’re ready first. 

NEW! Now You Can Stop Your Separation, Divorce or Lovers Rejection…Even If Your Relation Seems Hopeless!

If you Want Him Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…

The Secret you need to know to reverse your separation! From the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back together again!


torsdag 25 september 2014

Growing Stronger


While the idea of sequestering yourself away with your true love (and any accompanying kids) on a farm (or a tropical island if that’s more your style) seems like a good idea in theory, it isn’t a very realistic way to deal with the pressures of maintaining a healthy relationship. 

If you’ve been in a relationship for longer than three days, you are well aware that every relationship needs work to be successful. The world seems to offer a constant barrage of things that will weaken your relationship – how can you keep the life you’ve built together strong and true? 

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Let’s look at some strategies you can start using today to get (and keep) your relationship on solid ground. 

• Use words. We’ve all heard that communication is a key in any relationship. Most of the time, however, when a relationship starts to fall apart, communication is one of the first things that crumble. 

We can talk to our friends about everything but often fall silent when sitting with our significant other. Make sure that the communication between you is strong. Fill him in on the details that are going on in your day: the new grill you’d love to buy him, the problems the new secretary is giving you at work. 

Don’t exclude him from what goes on in a day – that helps to keep the lines of communication going between you and makes you a stronger couple. 

• Use actions. Remember when your relationship was new? You did sweet things to show how much you love the other person. It’s easy to let that type of action fade away over time – after all, they should know how much you love them by now, right? Yes, they should know. 

Growing Stronger



But it’s always good to keep reminding them – and remind them that you love them as much now (if not more) than you did back then. 

By continuing to show love through actions, you are recommitting yourself to the relationship every day. Each time you go out of your way to do something kind, it’s a silent way of shouting, “I love you!”

• Use time. Make your relationship a priority. You don’t have to look very hard for something to take you away from home: friends, family, trips – it’s entirely possible to schedule something every day and fill your calendar with activities. While you’re scheduling, make sure that a majority of your time goes to your relationship.

• Use love. Love is not easy. It requires work – hard work – and often seems like it is too much to bear. 

Think about your job. No matter how great your job may be and how much you really like it, there are some days where you would rather be on a beach than at the office. 

But, you’ve made a commitment to your employer, so you drag yourself in and google vacation beach rentals on your lunch break. 

Your relationship can be the same: some days it seems easier to walk away. Commit yourself to the relationship – and to loving your partner – even when you don’t feel like it.

Working on a relationship can be exhausting, but can lead to a relationship that other people can only dream about. It’s not easy – but nothing of value ever really comes easily. Put your best in to the relationship if you want to get the best out of your relationship. 

NEW! Now You Can Stop Your Separation, Divorce or Lovers Rejection…Even If Your Relation Seems Hopeless!

If you Want Him Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…

The Secret you need to know to reverse your separation! From the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back together again!


onsdag 24 september 2014

Why You Must Have a Conversation About Money Before You Move in Together

For any couple, moving in together is a big but very natural step of the relationship. It means spending more time together, more privacy and a space of their own. The thought of living with the person one loves is exhilarating but is always tempered by challenges, that can be avoided or dealt with before they rock the relationship.

 Dating

Of all the issues that may arise in the course of a life together, none causes more strife than money. Despite finances being an integral part of living together, this topic is hardly ever discussed by couples when moving in together. Understandably, it is an awkward and uncomfortable conversation and there is nothing less romantic, but in order to ensure that life together runs smoothly, it is a necessary discomfort. The following are some of the things you must discuss before moving in together.

Debt
Once a couple moves in together, it rarely occurs to them that their previous lives and the decisions they made can have an impact on their new life together. Moving in together makes financial boundaries vague and debt suddenly effects both parties regardless of whose name is attached to  it. 

In an open discussion about money, debt on either or both sides should be discussed in detail so a to prevent it from becoming a burden and also to chart out a concise financial plan to pay it off so that it does not make future plans difficult or impossible which would only lead to resentment and infighting.

Why You Must Have a Conversation About Money Before You Move in Together


Living Expenses
Half a century ago, there would have been no need for this discussion as it was the man's obligation to provide for the home. This was well understood and the demographics at the time demanded, if not allowed it. Today things are radically different with both men and women carrying their own weight financially which means living expenses will likely be catered for by both parties. 

Every couple must, however, build their own financial plan depending on factors like how much each makes. Some may find that combining all expenses and splitting the cost down the middle works while some may decide to assign specific bills to one party such as rent and electricity while the rest are the responsibility of the other. Either way, a plan cannot be put in place without a thorough discussion on finances.

Individual Spending Habits
Consider a couple living together and sharing a joint account or a credit card. It would not be unusual for either of them to spend money in a manner that the other would not approve of. The woman might spend what the man considers too much money on accessories such as handbags and shoes while he on the other hand might spend what she considers an obscene amount of money on sports gear. When there isn’t enough money for all of this, each party will expect that the other will spend less while they likely continue to fund their hobbies and personal interests. This will inevitably cause a rift and even power struggles which can only be avoided if a couple living together discuss finances specifically shared resources. 

It is important that limits are set, if the money is shared, while some may prefer to keep separate some of their money for individual spending. Regardless, for the relationship and the life together to survive any quarrels over money, a couple must be willing to have an open and exhaustive talk about money

NEW! Now You Can Stop Your Separation, Divorce or Lovers Rejection…Even If Your Relation Seems Hopeless!

If you Want Him Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…

The Secret you need to know to reverse your separation! From the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back together again!




tisdag 23 september 2014

Getting Over A Breakup: Friends To The Rescue

It is not easy to cope when a marriage or an important relationship ends. The whole world seems upside down and there is a lot of emotional trauma and unsettling feelings. It is also believed that it is tougher for women to get over a breakup than it is for a man. You must, however, remember that it is not the end of the world and the agony caused by a breakup is not insurmountable.

book making up How To Get Your Ex Back

Lean On Your Friends

Friends often prove very helpful in making you feel better. We tend to feel lonely after a breakup and sharing our feeling with a close friend might ease the emotional burden. Hang out with friends; watch a TV show or a movie and it will work wonders. Don’t stop your tears in front of an understanding and patient friend as it is the best way to let go of the emotional burden and pain.

Your friends are aware of your personality and understand what you are going through. So true friends will always stick close to you in this terrible time and also help you get out of it as they know what will make you happy.

Sometimes you blame yourselves for whatever has happened and suffer from immense guilt. A true friend will never let you fall into that trap and will make you realize that whatever happened was not your fault. 

Getting Over A Breakup: Friends To The Rescue


Take Up New Interests

When you are in a relationship you tend to lose your social circle, so now it is the right time to get it back. You must catch up with old friends and make an effort to reach out to new people. This will make you emotionally more secure and boost your courage. You can also join a dance class or any activity class with a friend who shares your interest as it will prove to be helpful in keeping you busy and your mind will drift from the painful memory of your ex.

Grow and Learn

At the time of this emotional crisis you should search for an opportunity to grow and learn. A vacation with friends is another great idea, as it will temporarily take you away from the things that will remind you of your partner. Besides this, a vacation is always rejuvenating for your mind and soul.

Gain Back Your Confidence

It is very hard for us to deal with breakup and we also tend to find faults with ourselves and tend to suffer from inferiority complex. Some of us might think that they are unattractive and this may be a reason their partner has dumped them. Sharing complexes with friends is very important because they know your inner beauty and will make you feel beautiful by their words and actions. At the same time if you neglected yourself and your fitness, now is the best time to bounce back. Hitting a gym with a best friend will make you look wonderful and bring back the confidence in you.

Do not let the breakup shatter the real you. Instead try your best and take help from family and friends, who help you get over turbulent times with their warmth and love.

NEW! Now You Can Stop Your Separation, Divorce or Lovers Rejection…Even If Your Relation Seems Hopeless!

If you Want Him Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…

The Secret you need to know to reverse your separation! From the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back together again!




söndag 21 september 2014

How to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship

Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it’s broken but you will still see the cracks in the reflection. Seeing past those cracks requires a lot of effort from both parties involved. Here are a few tips to help rebuild trust after instances of infidelity or when picking up the pieces after a divorce.

book making up How To Get Your Ex Back

Grieve. 
When someone betrays you, you go through the five stages of grief, these are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally, acceptance. Don’t try to fight any of these stages and don’t let any of them consume you. Believing that each stage will come to pass is what will keep you from doing something foolish. If you feel that you are not able to handle any of the stages of grief then seek professional help.

Commitment. 
Before efforts to rebuild trust in a relationship are undertaken, both parties must be committed to rebuilding the trust in the relationship. Trust is a two way street, you are either both in or not. Rebuilding trust is not an easy feat, it takes real effort from both parties and will only be successful if you are both fully committed to making it work.

How to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship


Be an open book. 
Trust is earned; earning it back after losing it in the first place means can only happen if you are open. Do not give your partner any reason to doubt you. Do not use cryptic language to explain what you were doing, where you are going or whom you were with. Most importantly, expect the same from your spouse. Share passwords, explain yourself in detail and always be accountable for everything you do or say. This way there will be no gray areas in your relationship and you will have no reason to doubt each other.

Put in the time and effort. 
If you are the betrayer, you need to first give your spouse the time and space to vent. This may involve some furniture throwing, hurling of insults or passive aggressive action. Whatever they do, take it because you probably deserve it. Next, you need to find out what your partner needs. Is it some level of reassurance, closure or explanation? Find out whatever it is you need to do to make things better. Basically, you need to be consistently available for your partner to respond, comfort and reassure them. If you are the victim, you need to accept what has happened and not wallow in self-pity or over indulge in playing the victim. Consciously choose to look for a solution rather than finding ways to torment yourself and others.

Knowing when to quit. 
The most important thing about rebuilding trust in a relationship is trusting yourself and knowing when to abandon ship. This type of decision can only be made when you trust yourself first. Trusting your judgment means knowing your limits and how much you can take before throwing in the tools and moving on with your life.

Broken trust does not necessarily have to result in a divorce or breakup. It is possible to build a stronger and more trusting relationship if both parties are committed to making their relationship work.

NEW! Now You Can Stop Your Separation, Divorce or Lovers Rejection…Even If Your Relation Seems Hopeless!

If you Want Him Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…

The Secret you need to know to reverse your separation! From the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back together again!


lördag 20 september 2014

Are your friends hurting your relationship?

Most of us want to find a suitable partner with whom we can fall in love and ultimately share our lives. When we finally find that special person and commit to a relationship, we want it to last forever. However, unlike romantic novels and movies, not all stories have a happy ending and all couples have to face the bumpy ride at some point. Sometimes, the friends with whom we share our closest secrets and whose advice we seek while facing a troubled relationship might become the cause of a sour relationship.


book making up How To Get Your Ex Back


Seeking a friend’s advice on a relationship may not be the best solution

Every couple is bound to have clashing opinions, as being different individuals, there will be difference in opinion and priorities. When things go out of hand and we do not find a solution, we depend on our friends for advice. We fail to understand that we might end up with a biased opinion, as our friend only gets to know our part of the story. No matter how consoling the advice may be, but it may act like sugar to a diabetic person. We must first acknowledge that there is a problem and then make mutual efforts towards solving it and should rely only on professional assistance if need arises. Visiting a marriage counselor together is a better option, as the he/ she gets to know the view of both the parties and can thus figure out a solution.


Are your friends hurting your relationship?


Neglecting a relationship makes things worse

The foundation of a happy relationship is a healthy friendship. Sometimes, however we do not understand that our partner can be our best friend and some very happy moments can be created together by sharing in each other’s passions and interests. Paint a canvas, read a book, bake and decorate cookies together; there are ample fun activities which help us connect better.  But at times we prefer to spend more time with our bunch of friends at a beer bar, baseball match or shopping and may end up neglecting our partner. It is essential for all couples to spend quality time together and be each other’s close friend.

Striking a healthy balance between relationship and friendship

Friends hold an important place in everyone’s life but you cannot afford to hurt a healthy relationship at the cost of friendship. So there is a need to strike a balance between both. Your best friends may sometimes cause hurt in if you fail to recognize that their advice in your relationship may not be the best one and you need to exercise your own judgment and take time out to understand your partner’s point of view.

A friendship, if it is too demanding may not be worth keeping and sometimes you just need to draw the line. Realize that in a relationship only the two of you can iron out the differences by putting your egos aside and going past the surface level connection.


NEW! Now You Can Stop Your Separation, Divorce or Lovers Rejection…Even If Your Relation Seems Hopeless!

If you Want Him Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…

The Secret you need to know to reverse your separation! From the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back together again!


fredag 19 september 2014

9 Ways To Improve Communication With Your Partner

It takes two to tango – everyone knows that. So why do we insist on not acknowledging that when it comes to communication? Without talking about things there is no way we can reach a middle ground on any issue, yet many couples are afraid to communicate with each other for fear of “damaging” their relationship. 

Dating

Here’s how you can improve your communication as a couple.

1. Listen
Most people listen with the intent to respond. You need to learn how to listen with the intent to listen. It’s a skill many people have no mastered. If you’re already thinking of a reply while someone else is talking, you’re not really listening to what they are saying, so learn to put aside your thoughts for a few moments while you actually consider what it is they are saying, and what they mean by it. 

2. Put aside your opinions
When listening to someone’s point of view during a heated conversation, it’s hear what they say but not really absorb it as we’re so caught up in our own opinion. What you end up hearing is what you “want” to hear, and is not necessarily what they actually said. Tackle this by absorbing what was said, and possibly repeating it to them, to make sure your understanding of what they said is not clouded by your own opinion. 

3. Be honest
A strong relationship requires honesty, and it is a key factor in developing strong communication channels. It may be uncomfortable to reveal the darkest parts of yourself to someone else, but it allows you to move forward as a couple, on the same page. 

9 Ways To Improve Communication With Your Partner


4. Non-verbal clues are important too
The more you get to know each other, the better you will recognize the non-verbal clues you give off. Learn to recognize what actions like lack of eye contact or folded arms means, and you will be able to pick up on the sub-text of the conversation much better. 

5. Stay focused
Don’t bring older issues into a conversation that has nothing to do about them. When you sit down to talk about something, try and keep all conversation centered on it. This is not the time to bring in the fact that your husband has never picked up his towels off the floor – unless that’s what you’re discussing to begin with. Otherwise you’ll keep going in circles and end up frustrated with the lack of progress in reaching a resolution. 

6. Try to keep emotion out of it
It’s easy to get emotional when talking about life-altering decisions, but once one partner gets emotional, the other one will too. And emotional people cannot make rational decisions. Try and keep emotions out of difficult conversations by focusing on the facts. 

7. Be willing to back off
There are times when you will not agree on something. Instead of forcing one person to admit they were “wrong”, sometimes it is better to value the relationship more than a “win” and just back off. You will not agree on everything, and it is better not to force some issues. 

Communication is about more than just talking. When communicating, both parties need to be aware of each other’s feelings and try and listen to what is being said before responding. Try and get on the same page with open communication and you will see your relationship thrive. 

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torsdag 18 september 2014

4 Secrets To A Successful Long-Distance Relationship

Many people believe long-distance relationships don’t work. Regardless of whether this belief is a result of personal experience or an opinion based on viewing other people’s relationships, there is a sub-group of people who will shy away from even trying to make a long-distance relationship work as they are afraid of the heartache that they believe will follow. 

Dating

Numerous factors make long-distance relationships unlikely to succeed, but motivated couples have figured out the secrets to staying strong, even if they are thousands of miles apart from each other. 

Secret # 1 – There is no “normal” relationship. 
Forget about thinking that there is a standard relationship type you must aim for. Just as every person is unique, so are the relationships they forge. Some people need to spend time with their significant other in person, while others are happy with a Skype chat every day. There are couples who have to spend time apart for obvious reasons – military deployment, jobs, education – and it is up to each couple to discuss what their goals are for the time they are apart as well as the importance of touching base regularly. These will be different for each couple, but as long as both parties are on the same page, they should be able to get through the time apart. 

4 Secrets To A Successful Long-Distance Relationship


Secret # 2 – Open communication
Couples find it difficult to talk, especially about tough topics, but it is important to maintain open communication channels. Make sure you have both discussed your expectations from the relationship, as mentioned before, and are on the same page. This conversation won’t be the easiest to have, but not holding back and being honest at this time can help build a solid foundation going forward. Sometimes one person will realize they are putting in more effort, but not voice their concerns, leading to growing feelings of resentment and, eventually, passive aggressiveness. There is no such thing as too much communication, so feel free to experiment with what works for you. 

Secret # 3 – There will be uncertainty, but don’t let it stop you
Separation anxiety isn’t just limited to kids and dogs – adults can get it too. When your loved one leaves you after some time together, it is easy to feel uncertain about the relationship, or want to put your life on hold till they visit you again. This only makes you feel worse as you’ll start obsessing over the lack of physical closeness, and question the relationship. The best thing to do once they leave is to jump back into your daily routine, while making sure you talk to them regularly. Make time for local friends and activities as they can help stop you from over-thinking the distance too much. 

Secret # 4 – Keep the romance alive
You may be apart, but there is no reason to keep the romance alive – even over a long-distance. Send each other flirty texts during the day, write letters or emails, send each other presents, and remember that just because you’re not in the same city is no reason to stop working on the relationship. Plan trips to spend time with each other, and make an effort, every chance you get, to sweep the other person off their feet. 

Secret # 5 – Embrace technology
Almost everyone has a smart-phone, so use that opportunity to schedule lunch dates with each – time zones permitting – where you can have a face-to-face conversation during your lunch break, or at other times throughout the day. Send each other pictures of your daily routine so you can both stay involved in each other’s lives. 

Long-distance relationships can be hard on anyone, but these secrets can help you get through the tough times. 

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If you Want Him Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…

The Secret you need to know to reverse your separation! From the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back together again!