by Brandi Kennedy
The decision to split up is an extremely delicate and difficult one, particularly when you have children. It's never pleasant-- typically, it brings out the worst in everyone involved, from the married couple themselves, to their families, friends, and kids. That's why when a married couple considers divorce, their first order of business should be to try and work things out.
Read self-help books. Pursue marriage counseling. Talk with friends, relatives, and each other. Who knows, probably that's all that's necessary to mend the broken partnership. When both parents collaborate toward everyone's contentment, it's always better for the children.
That said, you should never use your children as an excuse to stay together. There's no reason to believe that 'not divorcing' is better for your children than the option. In fact, it has the potential to do more harm than good. The conduct you reveal to your children sets the stage for how they will act as grownups, and if they continuously see marital relationship in a negative light, that's bound to have an effect on them in bad ways.
Some people might claim, "But we don't quarrel in front of them, so they don't really see what's going on." It's easy for moms and dads to presume that kids aren't hip to any quarrels that are present between mommy and daddy, but they're more keen than you think. You've even heard people say that kids detect everything, so you can assume your children to find out about your argument or stress, even when it's not explicitly explained.
Yes, your children are a valid reason to live together, but you need a more fixed reason than that. What you need is to create a prolonged love for each other. You must return to the reasons that made you decide to marry to begin with. You must discover what made you depart and neglect your promise to each other, which is to love each other for good.
If you think your marital relationship is worth protecting, then it's time to look within and without. Learn to contribute to the discussion constructively, and don't hesitate to pursue support if you feel vulnerable. Know that marriage counselling services are always there to guide you. Probably understanding the best reasons for breakup will help your predicament. You can find these reasons by paying a visit to yourtango.com/experts/yourtango-experts/top-causes-divorce-expert#.VDuhu_mSwrU.
For more details, search marriage counseling in Google for related information.