tisdag 29 oktober 2013

Did Score Keeping Ruin Your Relationship?

Good morning all readers; todays article Did Score Keeping Ruin Your Relationship? is really covering an important subject. It is so true that  if  you add up every time you have been hurt in the past you will never stop feeling bad about your relationship. If quizzes aint solved for the benefit of both parts it sure will come back again. Unfortunately we also have a tendence to blame our spouse and then completely forget our own part of the problem; and we often do that as a defence when our partner attack us verbally. Strange as it seems the best thing to do in a quarrel is to ask: what do you really want and what do you need behind your cruel words. That will put the finger on the real reason which often can be something else then what words tell. Our feelings can both be our blessings and our worst enemy; they are both love and sometimes the opposite and then we do have to settle down and ask ourselves and our partner what do we really want with our relationship!
Have a lovely day!
Dick Scott/Admin
No matter what you may have heard, it takes two to make or break a relationship. You aren’t the sole reason your breakup happened. But, that doesn’t mean there aren’t things you’ve done along the way that contributed to the end. One of the biggest problems in relationships, and one that is more common than most people realize, is a practice called keeping score.
You may have a fight and even make up after the fight, but in the back of your mind, you’re marking off numbers on a scorecard your partner has never even seen. When need fights occur, you’re adding fouls and other offenses to this scorecard and the fight grows into so much more than it started out as.
You know what I’m talking about. You’re having a fight over dinner being late and suddenly the fight’s about something that happened last year when he didn’t defend you when his mother was overly critical. This is bad for the relationship for many reasons. These are just a few.
quarrel
Nothing is Ever Solved
Not really solved, anyway. The other person has moved on and forgotten about the old argument. Then suddenly he or she is being held responsible for something they thought had been sorted out and made up for in the past. To them it feels like a sucker punch and that’s not a good feeling.
Fighting is a normal part of relationships. The purpose is to RESOLVE issues. When you pretend all is well for a while and then bring it up at a later date, it leaves the other person feeling doubly hurt and somewhat betrayed.
It Breeds Resentment
Unfortunately, when you’re keeping score and resolving nothing, you’re rehashing old arguments and emotional injuries just beneath the surface. You’re walking around in a state of unresolved hurt and growing resentment all the time. It’s not healthy for you and may leave your partner scratching his or her head at times trying to understand why you’re so angry all the time.
Compounds the Real Problems in the Relationship
Finally, when you have this running score going on in your head of perceived slights and injuries (some things you’ve probably never even so much as mentioned to your partner), they’re only serving to compound the real problems in the relationship.
This means that when the time comes to begin working on what’s broken, you have to sift through all the clutter to get to the heart and soul of the problem in your relationship. Too often, you expend precious time and energy trying to sort through the old issues that you never get to the real problem.
That’s when breakups happen. That’s when the two of you give up and then, more often than not, live with regrets over what could have been. Is it too late? I don’t believe it’s ever too late. But, you will ultimately have to eliminate the scorecard and leave it behind you for good if you want to have an honest shot at a second chance.
I really hope your relationship is bringing you hapiness and if not i can recommend this proven source: The Magic of Making up!
Wishing you the best!
Dick Scott
Financial Freedom Blogs

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