söndag 8 september 2013

Article 7 In a Series of Article On Blancing Your Friends and Lover

(Continuation of Article 6 and conclusion of this Article Series on Balancing Your Friends and Lover)

Let's assume you're starting off with a clean slate as her friends haven't formed an opinion of you yet - either you're still "the new guy" or you haven't had the chance to see much of them. The world is your oyster and there are plenty of ways to get on their good sides right away.

Little gestures to prove that you're considerate can really serve to put you in anyone's good graces, especially those close to your significant other. You got free movie passes from an acquaintance? Give two to her best friend, so she can bring her boyfriend along. She's looking for a job in advertising? Hook her up with your buddy who works at the best firm in town. Small favors like these will make you a prince in her friends' eyes; so much so, they may want you for themselves.

Be nice to your girl.  This one is a given, but oftentimes ignored. If you are out with your girlfriend and some of her friends, don't be shy to give up the macho act and be extra nice to her. By showing them that she's in good hands when she's in your arms, they'll welcome you into their circle with just that: open arms. So be sure to open doors for her, help her with her coat, hold her hand every now and then, and treat with her with utmost respect.

The bottom line is that getting along with each other's social circles is an added bonus. It's great if her friends like you, but hey, if they don't, at least her family does, right? Her friends are not the be-all, end-all of your relationship, so if you find that you've tried to patch things up to no avail or you simply don't like her friends, then simply explain that to your girlfriend.

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Conclusion

The boyfriend – best friends or girlfriend – best buddies balance is delicate.  If you want to have a good relationship with your new partner, you need to factor in that they bring a set of friends with them.

People are complex and have complex relationships.  The people in your new love’s life are going to continue to be important to them even as he or she starts making room for you.

When you are considerate of these former relationships, you will go a long way toward cementing the relationship.

At the same time, you need to realize that the time you can spend with your own friends is going to be reduced as you spend an increasing amount of your social life with your new squeeze.  But, don’t cut your friends out altogether. 

Again, the goal is to strike a balance between your friends and your love.

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