One of the big questions people have when they have been dumped is whether they can get their ex back. There are any number of tricks and techniques to do ensnare your ex, but the question is whether you want to. Even if it hurts, is this a good time to let go and move on?
If you do decide you want your ex, there are three paths to take, only one of which is truly effective.
The one most people choose is to act needy. They write long letters to their ex pouring out their heart (and they actually send them rather than burn them which I suggest earlier.) They make midnight phone calls or send multiple text messages. They send friends as emissaries to “feel out” whether their ex would want them back.
This tends to be a turn off for many ex’s. He will feel hunted and go out of his way to shy away from you.
A second route is recommended by many of the “get your ex back” products and it involves playing games. Show up where he hangs out and then talk to everyone but him. Flirt with his buddies. Even date his best friend.
In the long run, these tricks cannot repair a broken relationship – even if they get him back short term.
If you really are determined to get him back, you need to take control of yourself. Become the women he fell in love with all over again. Do a makeover and take better care of yourself. It’s okay to start dating again because this will let him know that you are an attractive person to other men.
If you take control of yourself, there is some hope that he will fall in love with you again. You haven’t hounded him into coming back and you haven’t played any games. You’ve simply moved on with your life while being open to his returning.
In this way, you can start to move on while leaving the door open which is probably the best way to leave things if you want to get your ex back.
|How To Get Lover Back|
Can You Still Be Friends?
One of the standard lines in a break up is “I just want to be friends.” Is it possible to just be friends with someone who you have previously had an intimate relationship?
Although being friends after the split offers temporary relief, it may block the slow but necessary passage from loss to restoration of independence.
You need to give each other space to heal and to move on with life. If you see each other frequently, you may try to hold on to some thoughts of getting back together.
If you do want to be friends in the long run, give yourself some space in the short term. Take a 30 day “vacation” from each other. During this time, you should not have any contact with each other including phone calls, meetings, or emails. Go out of your way to not be present where the other one is.
If you do decide to remain friends after this 30 day period, the feeling must be mutual. If one person decides that they do not want to pursue a friendship, then it is not possible.
If you still want to be friends, there must be some ground rules. Understand the feelings each of you have for each other. You should also understand each of your motivations for wanting to stay in contact.
When you talk, ask neutral questions rather than emotionally laden ones. Avoid hurtful confrontations or questions.
You should also establish boundaries. For instance, how often do you want to see or call each other? What kind of gifts are appropriate for the new friendship?
The best piece of advice I have for you is "this too shall pass." No, it’s not easy. But, life isn't easy. Instead, life is filled with sorrows and joys. Rejoice in the fact that you are human and that you will find your soul mate in the future. Next advice is from the man who created A Phenomenal Innovation In Relation Support and Love Advice!