There was a time when everyone lived in a small villages and you were likely to know your future mate from birth. That limited people's choices, but it also made dating and getting married easy. In the 21st Century, you can scour the entire world to find your soul mate.
But the wide amount of choice isn't necessarily a good thing. Sometimes the overwhelming choice limits you from making any choice.
So, the trick is to determine the best ways to find the one person who is right for you in the sea of potential mates.
What Kind of Relationship Are You Looking For?
There are many ways to meet other singles. Your method will best be determined based on your relationship goal and how soon you want to reach it.
For instance, are you looking for some short term fun with no strings attached or are you ready for a long term commitment?
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Consider these three scenarios:
Jerome is an 18 year old who has just graduated from high school. He's working at a pizza shop to make some money before he goes away to college in the fall. There's no pressure on him to form a long term relationship – in fact, having a girlfriend back home could stunt his social prospects in college. So, right now he can go out on fun dates in a casual manner.
Cynthia is 42 and recently divorced. She started dating her ex in high school and has very few “dating” skills. While she craves being in a relationship again, she really needs time as a single person again so she can date around and figure out just what kind of person matches her needs at this point in her life.
Lydda is a 28 year old third grade teacher.. She's had her fun and now is emotionally and financially ready to settle down and have a family. She is going to need a targeted method to find a spouse who can help her raise the children she hopes to have.
We're going to talk about three “efficiency levels” of dating which describe the type of person who use each method, the method itself, and who shouldn't use the method.
Method 1 is Casual Dating.
Casual Dating is for people who are not ready to marry soon. They may just be looking for friends or having casual fun. Young people, college students, people who have recently relocated, and those who are recently divorced or widowed fall into this category.
The best places to meet people in the Casual Dating sectors include community and church activities, events, classes, clubs, gyms, volunteering, and anywhere you hang out.
Casual Dating is not for people who are psychologically mature enough to marry and want a long term relationship or marriage in the next few years.
Article 2 in this series will focus on how Casual Dating can work. Meanwhile i highly recommend this top
notch resource regarding relationship quizzes! The Magic Of Making Up.