You look at your mate much more than you look at yourself. For that reason, you need to be fairly satisfied with the physical attractiveness of the person you are with. Dissatisfaction will undermine the entire relationship.
This is not to say that you have to date a model or a jock in order to be happy with your partner. But, you probably don't want to be physically revolted by them either.
You should know that people tend to find someone more attractive once they have fallen in love. So, you shouldn't put off a first date just because the person doesn't fit the ideal that you have imagined.
Sex helps you stay emotionally bonded with your partner. Usually, your partner is the person you most want to be emotionally intimate with and sex facilitates that process.
There are a number of factors which help to determine how satisfied you are in your sex life. These include being attracted to your partner, having an emotional bond, and resolving problems that occur outside of the bedroom.
But there is also the matter of how much skill and inhibition you have in the bedroom. Remember, while practice may not make perfect, it does make for a lot of fun.
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Investment in the Relationship
In many relationship, a woman is madly in love with a man and the man is only casually interested in the woman. This also happens the other way of course. If the partners have different investments in the relationship, it is doomed to failure.
Think about what you are putting into the relationship and what you are getting out of it. If the two don't balance, think about whether the investment is unequal. If it is, consider whether this is going to work out long term.
What is the power balance in your relationship? Some conservative cultures give all of the power – including the sole right to divorce – to the man. In some relationships, one person has more power due to a stronger financial position. Other times, one partner just has a personality that overwhelms the other.
In the beginning stages of a relationship, power balances are quite fragile. But if a relationship is going to work, these issues need to even out over time.
Are you a spender or a saver? Can you get along with someone with a different financial attitude than you have? One recent study showed that spenders tend to marry savers in order to moderate their behavior and savers marry spenders to liberate theirs. But, if your outlooks on finance are too different, there could be serious conflict within the relationship.
Remember that money is one of the most common – and crippling – problems in relationships. So, get a clear idea on how your partner feels about finance before you marry and then work out your money issues as you go along.
What Doesn't Matter
Just as there are things that really matter in relationships, there are also things that don't matter. These are common misconceptions and myths about what makes a relationship succeed.
Tomorrows article will be the 5th article in the series of articles on "Spark of Love".
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