måndag 11 februari 2013

Why Fantasies Are Actually Healthy For a Relationship

This is a great and useful article for you that i wrote for EzineArticles about what i think
is one very important issue that affect our life in many ways.
Ps. My own favourite resource which can help you within this subject is available by clicking on this link.

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As about why fantasies are actually healthy for a relationship I will begin telling you my own story. It all started out as almost every relationship almost on a bed of roses but gradually I found out that those roses had thorns to. Easy to say I really was no good copying on that side of a relationship meaning that every problem that rose up in our deep blue sky I neither faced it or talked about it. Neglecting it as long as possible became my way to "solve problems" which initially seemed to work but instead of going away things just became worse. Coming back to the title about fantasies I think it´s a key point to consider because we often start out with very positive fantasies of how our new love will be and also how our relationship will be, often more positive than realistic. Such fantasies are far from good in the long run but they are actually essential for a relationship in the beginning because otherwise we may not have had the courage to even consider to flirt with her at all. But if we use our fantasies to also see a positive solution possible when we discover the thorns it will help us. It´s easy to be negative and reject our own part of a dispute which make us self-imposed victims and therefore without quilt. Or as I did pretend everything´s alright which in the end will lead to a fight.
So what is there to do? I have a few good starting points here:
#1 is we both carry at least half of the problem.
#2 is listen more than you speak.
#3 is that the actual subject we disagree on is not every time the real issue.
#4 is to confirm your spouse; look her in the eyes and say you love her.
#5 is to be yourself from the beginning, show your genuine self.
Sometimes though and for different reasons things are going completely out of control and a solution seems out of reach. My experience is that it´s almost impossible to get through to each other when carry hurt feelings. It just has to lay low for a time until the smoke has cleared the air after the "explosion". At that time it is very wise to get some professional help for example therapy about relationship in some form; there´s some good resources both online and "offline" so to say. In closing I would like to say stick to what you have and take your part of the responsibility both for the good and the bad!

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